Am I bovvered?

Write something. Anything! It’s come to the point where it would be less detrimental to write 500 words of completely inane stream of consciousness crap than nothing at all. It’s been over a month since I last wrote this blog, which has led people to speculate that I may have died, or worse than that, entered the Big Brother house. It was this final and horrific assumption that stirred me from my ennui and resulted in me writing what you are now reading. I can cope with being assumed dead I thought, but I’ll be damned if people assume that I’ve taken to spending my time with that horde of bastards.

The real reason for my lack of activity is because of bother, or specifically a lack of it. And not just on my part, no. Of late, I’ve realised that no one and nothing can be bothered.

They can’t be bothered to make good television shows. The last thing I watched was a program called ‘Young, Dumb and Living off Mum’, which in short, involves a group of spoilt insufferable brats whining about the difficulties of existing. It’s almost exactly what I and the other two million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine unemployed people don’t want to watch; a show where those with everything moan about how difficult it is to do nothing. What next? . . . A man dousing couture gowns with 1945 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild, whilst eating fistfulls of £50 notes?

The news can’t be bothered either. Rather than giving you information about events from around the world, it chooses to provide updates on MP scandals and a death count of troops in Afghanistan. Unnecessary deaths in a futile and unwinnable war is nothing to sneer about in a blog, and MP scandal is so boring and tired that I wouldn’t even feel incensed if it transpired that Gordon Brown had claimed a million pounds a month for renting out headspace to his ears.

My personal life can’t be bothered. The most interesting thing that has happened to me of late was an argument with a bus driver that resulted in me leaving the bus a pound poorer and him being called a fucking prick. I won’t go into the details of the incident as it is long winded, boring and, most of all, I can’t be bothered. But rest assured that I was right and he was a fucking prick.

I even found out this morning that the weather can’t be bothered. August, at first predicted to be swelteringly hot and lovely, is now being described as ‘unsettled’.

So, there you have it, I’m not dead and I’m not in the Big Brother house and what’s more, I bothered to write something that, provided no one from Transport for London reads, will have proved less detrimental than writing nothing at all. I only hope that you lot can be bothered to read it.




Filed under Adam Mitchell, Current Affairs, Politics, Television

3 responses to “Am I bovvered?

  1. Darren Hayes is my homeboy

    Should have paid with stamps.

  2. Hello there Pegmond, it’s been a while since I had the opportunity to peruse the intricate wordplay gushing forth from your ample grey matter, but rest assured I will always be bovvered. I agree that television has given up the ghost and doesn’t make anything worth watching any more (aside from the odd Mitchell and Webb sketch i.e “homeopathic A&E” and the one about the nutritionists), but if you tease through the newspapers and more importantly the online articles and blogs attempting to give us the real news as opposed to what is frequently reported in the mainstream media you can find a few bits and pieces worth reading. Don’t give up just yet. If you read about anything this week it should be about the ludicrous libel case being brought against Simon Singh by the British Chiropractic Association who are suing him under the somewhat perverse British libel laws for insinuating that the claims of some Chiropractors to be able to cure childhood ailments such as colic lack any evidence based support. I would urge anyone who doesn’t already know about this story to read about it. Many of the online science based blogs have started a support campaign this week by placing a sense about science button on their blog sites.

  3. P Treg

    Deeeeeaaay thurty eee-at…its been over a moooonth since Mitchell wrooote his last blooog

    I write this during a spare 5 minutes during busy day at work; it started at 8am, I still have an unopened bowl of soup next to me, an increasingly crusty bread roll, and outside the window I gaze at weather that resembles the inside of a steam room, but without the heat.

    This summer has been shit, but here we collectively turn the corner; the lethargic attitudes, and miserable outlooks have reached their natural trough, and life’s equilibrium can now bounce back, with the nous of a Taylor Wimpey share.

    From tomorrow the weather will be great for the next couple of weeks, I shall complete all my outstanding work by Friday and you will be heading down to Plymouth this weekend. It is looking brighter my buck!

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